From Silicon Knights, the respective geniuses behind Eternal Darkness: Sanity’s Requiem and Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes, come a third-person action game chock full of irate demi-deities: Too Human. Tasked with saving mankind — What, again? — You’ll play as Baldur who the Xbox Live Marketplace touts as ‘The powerful cybernetic god.’ Due out August 19th, I’m not sure if this game will live up to the constant hype it’s been receiving, but as I’m downloading it now, I’m sure I’ll soon find out. I heartily suggest that if you’ve got the hard drive space, download it and give it a play. Silicon Knights’ track record speaks volumes and I loved Eternal Darkness so much that I’m pretty sure I’d try to play a cow pie if it had their name on it. Don’t disappoint me Silicon Knights! That cow pie offer is One-Time-Only.

I’m a sucker for things in small packages; travel toothpaste, tic tacs, mini-sewing kits, the list goes on and on. This lovely miniature frame of mind makes me completely ga-ga for widgets. Lucky for me, the fab marketing team behind Soulcalibur IV has released a nifty widget just teeny enough to make me salivate. And here’s why it should make you salivate too:

• You can make your friends jealous by embedding it on your lovely web page or blog before them.
• You can watch videos and drool over screenshots all throughout your boring workday.
• You can download screenshots and artwork to personalize your computer with — a constant reminder that you are going to tear this game UP come July 29th.
• Oh, and you can send it to your friends reinforcing the fact that you’re cooler than them since they didn’t see it first.

Did I mention it was teeny!? Go! Embed the Soulcalibur IV Widget and start getting properly amped for what has characteristically been a splendid fighting game series. This time with Star Wars characters of course!

Swimming lazily in the same vein as the Rock Band ‘Stage Kit’ complete with fog machine and lights are the Rock Band Illuminated Drum Sticks. For a mere $19.99 you too can preorder what Amazon only describes as:

Batteries included

Silicone tips for noise reduction

GameStop, suspiciously enough, is not offering any preorder options for this accessory to end all accessories.  If there’s any better reason for me to hide in my parents’ basement with the lights off in order to “Rock the world’s socks off,” I don’t know what it is. Are you ok with normal drumsticks? Or do you, like this blogger, need — nay, CRAVE that extra oomph to rock like Tommy Lee for your mom’s collection of stuffed unicorns? Don’t worry Princess Umlaut, your concert will start momentarily.

Of course you don’t have to follow suit in this voting vein, but just for poop and guffaws… Go! Vote! Show your opinion and differentiate yourself from the droning human masses. J/K, Humans! I Kid!

‘I think somebody’s trying to chug in my face!’ — Beerfest

‘Come with me if you want to live …’ — Any Terminator

‘I’m gonna open a file of whoop-ass on you.’ — The Masked Unit, Futurama

‘Piss on that! I’m bringing a ma-she-tay!’ — Putman, Club Dread

With some random suggestions out, what’s your motto? Or better yet, what’s the best motto you’ve ever seen on Live?

As a weird twist to a series hero that has changed immensely with each iteration of ‘Prince of Persia,’ this really takes the cake. In what can only be described as a ‘Final Fantasy’-like artistic direction, the ‘Prince’ looks completely different. And rightly so. IGN informs us that this game will be very different, that the Prince will have a new sidekick and that she, Elika, will be on the prowl to help him combat the new force of evil, Ahriman. While they say she’s not an annoying AI like most partners are at least some of the time, only time will tell. While I appreciate AI as a formidable role in plotlines, most of the time I like duking it out solo just me and my wits. Will having a sexy sidekick sway you for or against playing the upcoming ‘Prince of Persia’? Or will the new and seemingly pretty prince be the determining factor? Kotaku has more on the Ubisoft Montreal’s new direction on the series.

Last Monday I got my wisdom teeth yoinked. I’ve been meaning to do it for around 4 years, and only with promptings from my husband and family who claim my leaving those four harmless teeth in gum were turning me into a snaggletooth, I finally gave in and let them go. Luckily, since they’d pretty much all come in since I had them pulled so late I didn’t have to get any stitches, but it was a traumatizing experience nonetheless. Drugged up and chock full of painkillers, I was too loopy to play video games, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t read about them. Armed with a plethora of video game magazines, my mother came bearing gifts and delicious soft foods I could gum down. After the initial shock wore off, the magazines crept in. Lovely woman my mother is, she picked me up every one she could find, including those pricey and glossy British mags. With about 8 magazines to go through and countless previews of upcoming games, I’d like to share with you my latest and greatest ‘Can’t Freaking Wait’ list, courtesy of the country of England and my sweet mother.

Prototype — Never before has assimilation sounded so freaking good. Not only can you draw people into your bio-awesome form learning their information and gleaning their combat practices, you can even assimilate concrete and use it as a protective measure. An open world with major open opportunities, this game’s looking like GTA all hopped up on science fiction. Mmmm. Science fiction. Just like mom used to make.

Brutal Legend — Why is hardly anyone talking about this game?! Tim Schafer and Jack Black. Playing in the world of Heavy Metal. AI and environment inspired by the likes of Iron Maiden, Black Sabbath, Metallica … If that’s not enough for you, Tim and Jack are teaming up big time. Jack’s contributing to the dialogue and of course, the musical riffs, straight from one half of the majesty named Tenacious D. Rock on!

Dead Space — Survival horror had already wormed its way into my heart but this take on it looks breathtaking. Tactical takedowns, mining lasers not gigantic submachine guns, no HUD, just plain old fashion full screen uninterrupted action, and not to mention isolation in zero gravity along with some monster friends that want you to be their new playmate.

GhostBusters — With Dan Ackroyd and Harold Ramis back at the reins, you know the next installment in the GhostBusters series is going to be a winner. This iteration in a long list of crap GhostBusters games has you going up against some of the series’ favorite baddies. The shushing librarian, Mr. Stay Puft, Slimer … The list goes on and on. As a child of the 80s who grew up with the GhostBusting crew, cereal and cartoons, I could not be more excited.

WET — Sex with guns and so much more. In this action adventure shoot ‘em up, the hitwoman protagonist, Rubi gots to GET her money. When she gets stiffed by some clients, said clients turn into stiffs. With the adventure feel of Tomb Raider, Rubi’s insane fighting acrobatics, build off the craziness initiated in BloodRayne 2 — not necessarily a bad thing. At the risk of mentioning Tenacious D twice in a video game blog post, I’ll also say that Rubi has mastered the art of the power slide, replacing her axe for a pair of shiny pistols. As a female gamer, there’s something to be said for kicking ass as a woman. I’m SO looking forward to it.

Like most jaded gamers out there I’ve succumbed to the sad fact that video games based on and released with movies are absolute trash. Sub par graphics, rote stories that you already know, (having seen the movie) and formulaic and boring gameplay. Having come from seeing the movie ‘Iron Man’ last night and being completely blown away, I wonder and even half wish … will ‘Iron Man’ the game please give me more of the movie I so desperately crave? Skimming through reviews and comments it seems that it’s destined to not be so. But did it fail for the same journalists that are jaded by movie to game flicks like myself, or to the gaming masses in general? On IGN.com the 360 version of ‘Iron Man’ receives a 3.8, a deliciously bad score that I’ve only reserved in my reviews for a gem like ‘Kengo, Legend of the 9.’ Surprisingly enough, the IGN reader average for ‘Iron Man’ falls around a 6.2. Not the best score ever, but certainly not a 3.8. Under the links prompting you to the ‘Iron Man’ review, the following taglines sit: “The movie game tradition continues.” and “It’s games like this that make Tony Stark drink.” Now to be completely honest, I wouldn’t mind Tony Stark drinking, because then maybe I’d have a chance with him, but really, is this the chip on the shoulder that game journalists are going into a game with? We’re all guilty of it, that’s certainly for sure, but could this particular chip be knocking the review score down before we even pick up the controller? Is it possible that movie to game scoring systems really start at a 7.5? That we punish them even more for daring to exist as corporate marketing schemes banking on the success of a fantastic movie with a much more expensive but cheaply developed game? Below the reader average, out of 19 press ratings the average press score is 4.6. Not so good. What really interests me about this though, is that the gaming-inclined hosts of the radio show Big O and Dukes, said on their show, that it was good. They hold good company and like good games. What is happening? Is there some kind of conspiracy here? Since I haven’t played the game, I don’t know for sure, but what I do know is this: Everyday gamers sure do like ‘Iron Man’ better than game journalists and me? I aim to find out why.

5. Breakout (Atari 2600)

4. Rez HD (360)

3. Guitar Hero (PS2, Wii, 360, Mac)

2. WarioWare: Smooth Moves (Wii)

1. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (DS)

Honestly my picks would differ slightly … I tend to be worse, not better at Guitar Hero when I’ve been sipping the sauce, and don’t recommend playing a high activity Wii game when heartily smashed. Since I’ve hosted plenty of drunken game nights at Chez Carol with an exclusive player list, (Fifty dollar buy-in, well, actually five…) I’m going to give you my drunken gaming list, straight up and with a twist of lime.

5. Fight Night Round 3 (360) — It’s the healthy alternative for drunken fist fights in your garage. Or your neighbor’s garage… Come on, he shouldn’t have asked us to turn it down! The fights can go on forever, and only your drink imbibed fingers can handle that kind of intense pressure. Plus, once you win you’re automatically king of the ring, and all your drinks are on the losers.

4. Wii Bowling (Wii) — While I know I’m contradicting my earlier mandate of NOT playing high action Wii games while intoxicated, this one’s just too fun to leave off. I find that, similar to real bowling, more beer equals more points. There’s been many a time I’ve gotten six-packs right after finishing one, and who’s going to refute that kind of scientific testing?

3. Rock Band (360) — As I said before, drinking during Guitar Hero makes me awful, but drinking during Rock Band only serves to turn me into Keith Richards. My vocals are better, I shred crazy solos, and somehow I manage to actually look and sound decent on the drums. Perhaps alcohol is one of those unspoken prerequisites that makes you into the ultimate Rock Band Rock Star. Don’t quote me on that…

2. Super Smash Bros Melee (GameCube) — An easy enough interface even novices can conquer, the simple controls and fast-paced action makes this title a drinking must. When you’re imbibing, achievements always seem greater and you just know your character’s coming back from the side of that screen, no problem. A game that can go on forever without anyone getting bored; SSBM is one great game to play and conquer under the influence.

1. Fuzion Frenzy (Xbox) — Absolutely NOT to be confused with Fuzion Frenzy 2, the first iteration of this mini-game title is a drunk player’s heaven. I’ve always got better thumb endurance after a few that’ll help bring a smackdown on Sumo, and if I’m suitably hazy, I’ll play twisted system to take that eye-hand coordination to the next level. Out of the 45 minigames included, only a few require the use of more than 2 buttons, and even those are still simple. Playing the game sober is fun, but watch the skill set go up in a room full of trashed folks. It’s beautiful.

*Editor’s Note: Drink responsibly, or I’ll come find you.